Creativity and Hopelessness

I looked up what the opposite of creativity would be. I did so because I felt bereft of it. I felt myself being so exhausted of my creative juices after working on a creative project for a week or so, finally finishing it, and living with it being somewhat lacklustre because I had to meet a deadline.

I thought my exhaustion was me being out of creativity, so my conclusion, naturally, was alternating between types of work. To be able to consistently work, I thought the key was to do creative work that needed me to think out of the box with colours, words, fonts, textures, and everything in between for a few days, THEN switch to working on something that requires as much brain power as an ant has.

So, when I looked up what the opposite of creativity was to find what exactly I’d be doing for the next few days, the first result was: hopelessness.

The article elaborated, that the opposite of creativity would be the cowardice that would disallow me to get my fragile heart broken by a failure. This made me think one thought that bugs me, “Am i really still being creative if I fail?”

I mean let's take a real look at this picture. If I experiment, and the result I yield is one that would be undesirable to me or the masses, one that is not well perceived, then is this failure something I can afford to have? Is my creative work, result based? Or am I allowed to fail and let the process be the art I created?

Let’s look at it from the lens I currently hold. If I get a professional creative opportunity, will I be allowed to fail? If yes, will my failure be considered a part of the road I took to reach the successful experiment, or will it be a result in its own right?

If I am a musician, and I release 5 albums as part of my experimentation, and my sixth album is a hit, will my past work be deemed a route that further proved my prowess and creativity, or will it negatively impact the perception of my sixth album?

If I am a marketeer, and my first few campaigns are flops, or are dismissed by my corporate overlords, will they still take me seriously when something objectively good rolls around? Will I still even have my job?

Keep in mind, these failures would cost money. They would financially impact either me or the people that put faith in me. So while I do understand the implication that the human spirit is perseverance and never ending passion, there would be actual consequences that would hurt me.

Also keep in mind I understand that there are audiences everywhere for whatever I create, but the sizes of the audiences would vary significantly, and so would their ability to access my art. When Tolkien talked about writing whatever excites you because it definitely excites someone else somewhere, I think he severely underestimated how large a market he shared his excitement with.

Yes, experimentation also implies an inherent filtration of ideas based on what I think would work, but that too would be subject to experimentation. A completely safe bet like a Swift-esque pop album or a “Hungry? Grab a XYZ” ad would be redundant. So would the parameters of what I consider “experimental”, or “unique”.