Mars

'I wonder what anarchy feels like,' Mars muttered to himself. He was overlooking a population of about fifty thousand people, like an army of ants, laboring to death. He stood on a ledge so high up, the tip of his fingers could scrape the clouds. Imagining these insignificant mortals hacking each other to pieces for no apparent reason brought him such unbridled joy.

He was one wrong step away from tipping over and falling off, but did he care? No, of course not! He was a god! Why would he care at all? If anything, crashing against the planet would leave him unscathed, although it could annihilate said space rock. This would lead to a scolding from daddy Jupiter, and he did not want a scolding from daddy Jupiter, so he backed up a little.

Chewing on gum, he thought back to his glory days. A bygone era of glory, constant unrest, and war in the world, when he was revered and loved by every man who longed for a chance to prove himself. Now, all but a few stories of his might, forgotten.

He flicked out his phone, and there, he saw an email from his uncle, Neptune. It said something about an emergency regarding some puny Norse God stirring up trouble. 'Finally, I get to do my job again,' he thought. He stared at the planet named after his lover, Venus, which shone like a star. He admired its beauty and embraced himself to beat up some dumb snake who called himself a God.